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Looking back

I was looking through my journal to update Romeo's baby book and stumbled upon this entry. I was struck about how much I needed to hear this message today. I've been struggling to maintain my patience with Charlie. Three is such a hard age - not quite a baby but not quite a big kid either; right in the middle of both. We struggle with control and every routine activity (getting dressed, breakfast, lunch, dinner, bedtime, etc.) is a fight. It's so easy to get frustrated and annoyed and overreact about her not listening. Instead, I want to be grateful for the moment with her - easy or hard, good or bad.

And I want to acknowledge my own wisdom. I cherish times like this when I am able to look back and receive wisdom from my past self. It reassures me that when I have challenges, I just need to look inside to find the wisdom I need to get through them.

May 20th, 2018: Yesterday was the first day that I felt really annoyed by Charlie and had such little patience for her. I couldn’t handle her constant need to be touching me or to be held by me. But then after I put her to bed and was trying to fall asleep all I wanted was her little head on my shoulder and her little body cuddled up next to mine. It was a reminder to appreciate her littleness now, even when it’s hard. Maybe especially when it’s hard.

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